EDMONTON ROVERS FOOTBALL CLUB

AFRICAN E-MAILS
(AND OTHER WEIRD CORRESPONDENCE)

Since this website came online in 2001, we have received countless e-mails from prospective players worldwide who invariably seem to think that we are a professional club and that we will give them a 'trail' (sic) and turn them into a 'Superstar'...despite it clearly saying on our Home Page that we are a 'Sunday League Pub Team' !
The majority of these e-mails come from barely-literate African youngsters (or their Agents) and are often highly amusing, while others appear to be some sort of scam where they are looking for us to give them fake passports and visas in return for cash so that they can come over here and claim benefits. In other cases, players who have just arrived in the area from abroad go into an internet cafe and put 'Edmonton F.C.' into Google Search, and on finding us at the top of the list, automatically assume we are the nearest local professional club !
As a result of these e-mails, one of our players, Simon Jackson, then decided to create an alter-ego in George N'Bogwou as a 'wind-up', and George's 'e-males' can be found here on a separate page.
We have also had a number of other weird e-mails from assorted 'loonies' over the years, and they too are included in this section. Enjoy !

PAGE ONE (The most recently received e-mails)

Sunday, 18 January, 2009  Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Hello Laurence,
My name is Nitish Bolina , I am 19 yrs old now i want to join the Football Team, i was  a wrestler but now I wan to try my luck in football. So i need an advice that weather i can join your team ? and if yes then what steps should be taken to be in the team.
Please Reply
Thanking You
Nitish Bolina

Saturday, 13 December, 2008  souvenirs
Mr. Laurence Hughes
I am  interesting and fan club EDMONTON ROVERS FC. I  am collection and possess few souvenirs, very very dreams of pin badges and t-shirt. Very very please to help and send pin badges and if to be able t-shirt. In advance very thank you.
Your  sincerely
Darek Pik

Wednesday, 16 July, 2008  No Subject
My name is Andrzej  I am 17 years old. I interested British football. I am collector pin badges off 3 years ago British & Rep of Ireland football cluband association football. I have in my collection 548 pin badges. I will would like to organization exposition my collection. Please help me enrich my collection and send me yours a pin badge. I will very hope. Best wishes Andrzej

Tuesday, 17 June, 2008  Hi, Dear Mr...
Dear Mr & Mme
I have the honour to request from your valuable personality.
In fact I come from the Ivory Coast (Abidjan) and I appoint HUBERSON I gained a very good foundation in the field of football through the center of high-level training IMPERIAL FOOTBALL CLUB with whom I have evolved over six years. I am now looking for someone who can help me and with whom I would like to take new steps, discover new horizons.
I am but preferably versatile defender and attacker (No. 5 & 11).
I am a fairly complete player, and you would have the opportunity to discover all my athletic qualities. I am ready to give the best of myself and put all my skills at your disposal if you give me the opportunity. By informing you that I am somewhat put you in touch with my training centre for further information.
My performances:
Field of view games
Masters Ball
Good edge speed
Physical
Technical
Striking.
You can write me. I AM IMPATIENT TO RECEIVE YOUR ANSWER. Please accept the spirit of my highest consideration and hope to meet with you
Sincerely. Huberson.
Noted: I am a very good player and available for the evolution of your team thank you

Saturday, 5 April, 2008  THIS IS MY CV PLEASE RECEIVE IT FROM ME
am a good player that just joined gladiator.co.uk,so i saw your posting (What is he on about ? We have never advertised on this !...Ed.) that your club needs players so i decided to apply ,i hope my file will be attended to ,please i need to play for you please.help me
am a good player that has played as far as good concrete football
i started football right from my childhood,i know that am fit to play in kind of conditions,all i ask of you i to give an invitation for trials so as to come and show case the stuff am made off
sir, football is all about your possibilites i know am fit/right person for this your team
all i ask is you acknowlegdement please sir help me to be able to come & play good fotball
am also a utility player that plays any where in the attack,
please i hope you can help me in your team
this is my cv
                                       CURRICULUM VITEA
PERSONAL DETAILS
Name:                Ifeanyi Nwacheli Owacheli
Nationality;         Nigerian
Mentor;             Ronaldihno
                       1994-my dad handed me over to coach phillp udame
Junior young star fc;1994-1997,
                       played as a striker,started with learning of pass, crosses
                       given award as the best player in a tournament
                       transfered to juinor arsenal(local club nigeria)  as a result of parental transfer
Juinor Arsenalfc     1998-2000
                       played for my primary school as a good striker
                       played till graduation,won primary school game with my school team,captain primary school team at st peter's primary school pitch  
St patrick's        2001-2003
school team       played in my juinor class as a left back because i was too small according to my school team coach,but latter became a skillful player
                        we lost out in the secondary school games because of no good goal keeper back to young star football club as a good striker
Youngstar FC     2003-TILL DATE
                          am a good striker with intelligence that a player can't predict me when am with a ball,i can play for as long as 3 hours continuously
                          i have skills as much that a strker has to beat an opponent am fit,i can't do without fittness,fittness is the motto of my club
                          well is all good.

Wednesday, 30 January, 2008  Hello
Dear Sir,
I am very happy to be given the opportunity to air my views to your authoritatious office.
I am Razack Nuhu from Ghana and 15 years,will be 16 on october 31st and i am very good at football which i have decided to take it as a career.I am very good at any position and especially defending.I will like to ask for your help to have a chance to play for your under 16 team.I will like to end here and will be happy to hear fromyou soon.Bye. -Razack

Monday, 31 December, 2007  Please give me a chance to prove in your club to the world that football is really my profession.
Dear Sir,
I am in a mood of pleasure writing to you this letter.
How is your club fairing I know by the grace of God and your hard work everything is moving on well.
In starting, I will like to say that am writing this letter to the management in order for them to give me a chance or the invitation for trials.
Am Daniel serwornu a 21 year old central defender from Ghana. Am very talented young player, very strong and very submissive
Seriousness at my training grounds is always the things colleagues praise me about.
I love football/soccer very well. I realized that soccer was my profession at the age of ten (10) when I was in school as the sports captain.
Sir I always have the desire, the focus, the dream, the vision and the determination to go outside for trials to excel in my football profession
I can also assure the management of the club that I’m a good player and they will never regret inviting me for trials. Because the is no way I will not pass the trails.
Attached to this letter is my CV with my recent football pictures.
In conclusion, I believe as a great management of this reputable club you Would give me the invitation for the trails.
May the Lord God almighty let this club grow rapidly to the worlds recognition
And may His protection be with you all.
Hope to here from you soon.
Yours faithfully
Daniel Serwornu
(Footballer-Ghana)